Preposterous Prompted Contest
Prompt: “New Year’s Resolution: no more pushing strange buttons.” Created by Lydia Jane.
“Dad, I hate to break it to you, but I’m not interested in being your evil henchman.”
“What?” Dad held out his birthday present to me—another detonator button. “But—I made this one just for you!”
I clucked my tongue. “I know, but I told you my New Year’s Resolution: no more pushing strange buttons. Specifically from you.”
“It’s in your blood, Cherry.” Dad wiggled the box around, like I was some cat who would take interest in something that moved. “Being evil is so much fun! What else would you be if not an evil scientist? A doctor?” Dad scoffed.
“I could be anything.” I nudged the present closer to him. “That’s why I’ve decided to go to college.”
Dad growled under his breath. “Ugh. College. I blew up my alma mater the day I graduated. Felt so freeing.” He shoved the package back toward me. “I promise you, this button will make you feel better, too.”
“Dad, really—”
“I rigged it to explode your cheating ex-boyfriend’s house.”
I paused. “…Jaxon?”
Dad nodded. “Jaxon.”
I squinted. My finger hovered over the top of the box. “Well, you know… maybe it wouldn’t hurt to press one more strange button.”
Prompt 2
Prompt: “If wishes were fishes, I’d definitely throw you back in the water.” Created by Lydia Jane.
Larkin stared at Fox slack-jawed. Had he just asked her out?
Seriously.
Save one boy from a man eating, three-headed shark-man and he’ll fall in love with you. She rubbed a flaming hot pointed ear and stared at her feet.
“If wishes were fishes, I’d definitely throw you back in the water. No doubt about it.” That’s what she wanted to say. But she couldn’t. It was very rude. She couldn’t be rude. She was the elvish princess, after all.
So instead, she folded her hands behind her back and met his piercing gaze. “Perhaps… Let’s wait until after we’re sure that King Finnian is secure as well as the rest of his team.”
There was no way Fox could argue with that logic. The warden king was arguably the most important man on Jachorix, and his older brother was on the missing team as well.
Fox’s blue eyes lit up, and sparks of mischief danced in them. He nodded vigorously. “Yes, good idea. Then I’ll have time to plan.”
Larkin’s eyes grew big as she swallowed hard. What had she gotten herself into? If Fox was anything like Alistair…
This date was going to be one heck of a ride.
Prompt 3
Prompt: “The older I get, the more I realize cheese truly solves all my life problems.” Created by Lydia Jane.
“The older I get, the more I realize cheese truly solves all my problems.”
“What’s that, your majesty?” The underling cringed, pulling at his whiskers.
The Rat-King sent him a withering glance. “Deliciously creamy and salty. Puts food in the constantly ravenous mouths of you squealing peasants—ahem, I mean, my worthy subjects. Keeps my coat perfectly glossy!”
“Um… y-yes, your majesty.”
The Rat-King wheeled to face his troops. “This night of merriment among the humans has left traces even here in the girl’s room. Can you smell it? Cheese! There, on her bedside table. She may scream. She may fight. Let not your hearts faint! But a few scratches will cow her! Now—charge for the cheese!”
The rat army scuttled out onto the dark floor.
“Nearly there!” the Rat-King muttered. “Only a whisker away.”
“What’s that?!” squeaked the underling.
“Merely a doll. A human vanity—a nutcracker in the form of a man!”
“In the form of a soldier. Look out!”
The Rat-King almost scoffed. It was only a shadow in the moonlight.
But then—the nutcracker moved.
He stepped forward between the rat army and the girl on the bed and drew his saber.
Bonus Round
Prompt: “There are few things as annoying as a teapot singing a show tune.” Created by Lydia Jane.
There are few things as annoying as a tea pot singing a show tune. But at least it had a sense of rhythm.
When the cow joined in, off key and terribly off beat, Gina knew she was going to have to head back to the fairy and take back her wish. Either that or be driven crazy by the results.
Who knew wishing for a more musical life could go so wrong?
